Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Most individuals consider that
experiments
conducted on animals
should be banned and legislated as illegal, while
others perceive this
to be a crucial part of scientific development. I am in favour of keeping the idea of doing experiments
on animals
because this
not only aids us in the development of the medical field but also
benefits the animals
.
First of all, a key factor in my agreement with experimenting on animals
because it avails the growth of pharmaceutical science. For example
, a lot of medicines that doctors currently prescribe for patients are extracted from animals
such
as snakes, scorpions or snails. Moreover
, studies showed that some purified extractions of venom produce anti-ageing elements that can be applied to cosmetic products. We have turned so many fatal toxins into the use of life-saving drugs, I believe that keeping this
necessary evil is critical for medicine evolution.
Besides
, clinical trials are not always disadvantageous for animals
, on the contrary
, it besteads the creatures. From my personal experience as a veterinary assistant, the hospital I worked for cooperated with a biopharmaceutical company, which was seeking for
possible targeted therapy for dogs and cats. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, there are more researchers in other nations endeavouring in this
field of various diseases for different species as well. Animals
may not always be able to recover from sickness with medication, nevertheless
, this
can relieve the pain, offer a better life quality and give a longer lifespan.
Some people perceive that conducting experiments
on animals
is unfair to them because they don’t have choices and no ability to reject or run away from the experiments
. Indeed, this
is cruel to animals
, however
, in terms of technology today,
has not found a way not to harm Remove the comma
apply
animals
, if we don’t do experiments
on them, we can never know how to save their lives.
In conclusion, I reckon that experimentation on animals
should be continuing. It is sad that some lives need to be sacrificed during tests, nevertheless
, we are slowly walking away from the world of natural selection. Humans are consistently putting effort into making progress in the medicinal field in order to cure illnesses for us and animals
, thus
, both of us can have more time and choice to live a better life.Submitted by wendy190427 on
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task response
Your essay makes a strong case for animal experimentation and addresses the counterarguments effectively. However, there are areas where you can improve. For example, providing more specific examples or evidence can strengthen your arguments. Additionally, paying attention to grammatical errors and word choice can enhance clarity. For instance, phrases like 'I am in favour of keeping the idea of doing experiments on animals' could be more succinctly written as 'I support animal experimentation' to make it more direct and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift between the benefits for human medicine and the benefits for animal health could be made clearer by using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore.' Also, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your arguments.
task response
You provide a balanced discussion, acknowledging both sides of the argument and then clearly stating your position, which is crucial for a high band score in Task Response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea that supports your overall argument. This logical flow helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task response
There are specific examples given, such as the benefits of venom in medicine and the personal experience as a veterinary assistant, which add authenticity and strength to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?