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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

SOME PEOPE THINK THAT SPENDING A LOT OF MONEY ON BIRTHDAYS AND MARRIAGES CELEBRATIONS IS A WASTE OF MONEY BUT OTHERS THINK THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO THE YOUNG PEOPLE AND THE SOCIETY. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#peope #money #birthdays #marriages #celebrations #waste #people #society
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It is common to see most
people
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 celebrate special
events
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such
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 as birthdays and marriages, together with their loved ones. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is a waste of money and they should not celebrate
such
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events
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, while others believe it is important to the youth and the community.
This
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 has created a considerable debate and will be analyzed in greater depth.
To begin
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 with, compared to the previous decades, nowadays these ceremonies are celebrated on a larger scale with a few hundred attendees.
For instance
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, even though
such
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events
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 can be organized and celebrated together with only close family members and friends, most individuals prefer to celebrate these in hotels or reception halls with a large crowd that they have barely known.
This
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 costs a considerable large amount of money which should have used for a better purpose
such
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 as buying a vehicle or house. Because of
this
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 reason, I believe
this
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 is a waste of cash that should have used for necessities.
On the other hand
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, though these are unwanted expenses, it is irrefutable that there are some positive outcomes out of these celebrations as
this
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 provides some perks to the younger
people
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 and the community.
For instance
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, children would love to celebrate their birthday parties so that they receive gifts from their friends and family, which lead to their happiness.
Furthermore
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, there are some individuals
such
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 as event organizers, make-up artists and dressmakers who depend on weddings. Because of
this
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 reason, it is incontrovertible that
such
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events
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 introduce new job opportunities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In summary, while some
people
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 think it is unnecessary to have parties for marriages and birthdays, others believe it has advantages to the youngsters and the community. In my opinion, even though both arguments have valid reasons, currently
people
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 spend money unnecessarily for
this
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 kind of event so that I believe these should have celebrated in a simple manner.
Submitted by tnakkawita on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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