Doctors recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them?

#doctors #people #exercise

These days

old

Fix the agreement mistake

the older

show examples

generation

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not do physical

exercises

enough

Rephrase

apply

show examples

However

, doctors say to them that older

people

should do

exercises

on a daily basis. There are various reasons for

this

, elderly

people

and medics both

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

need to work together to improve the situation. One of the main causes of the

problem

is that elderly

peope

Correct your spelling

people

cannot exercise

due to

the worst health. A solution is for the

problem

to see a doctor to start treatment which helps to be ready for physical

exercises

. It would hopefully lead to a return to the sport and running. Another factor is that elders avoid the sport which can hurt their body.

They

Add a verb

They are

They were

show examples

afraid to damage their body. To tackle

this

issue

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they overcome fear and be

carefull

Correct your spelling

careful

to do athletic

exercises

. The third cause of the

problem

is that older

people

are

lazy

Rephrase

too lazy

show examples

to exercise these sports and jogging.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

would solve

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

problem

that

olders

Correct your spelling

older

want to play sports

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

desire and improve their discipline.

To sum up

there are various reasons for

this

rise in returning sports which old generation want to be in shape. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the

problem

lies with both elderly

people

and doctors.

Submitted by nurlan32 on Fri Jul 09 2021

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

205 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
sedentary lifestyle
motivation
physical limitations
lack of time
fear of injury
exercise facilities
misunderstanding
benefits of exercise
social support
poor health conditions
awareness
appropriate exercises
guidance
financial constraints

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Doctors recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

please describe th eprocess of manufacture of bricks?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree.

The illustration show how chocolate is produced. Task 1

The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The sports center that you regularly visit has a problem with some of its equipment. Write a letter to the center manager. In your letter •tell them about the problem; •describe how it has affected you; •explain why it should be fixed soon.