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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Doctors recommend that older people should exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them?

#doctors #people #exercise
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These days
old
Fix the agreement mistake
the older
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 generation
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not do physical
exercises
Use synonyms
enough
Rephrase
apply
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.
However
Linking Words
, doctors say to them that older
people
Use synonyms
 should do
exercises
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis. There are various reasons for
this
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and medics both
and
Correct word choice
apply
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need to work together to improve the situation. One of the main causes of the
problem
Use synonyms
 is that elderly
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 cannot exercise
due to
Linking Words
 the worst health. A solution is for the
problem
Use synonyms
 to see a doctor to start treatment which helps to be ready for physical
exercises
Use synonyms
. It would hopefully lead to a return to the sport and running. Another factor is that elders avoid the sport which can hurt their body.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
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 afraid to damage their body. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they overcome fear and be
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
 to do athletic
exercises
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. The third cause of the
problem
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 is that older
people
Use synonyms
 are
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
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 to exercise these sports and jogging.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 would solve
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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problem
Use synonyms
 that
olders
Correct your spelling
older
 want to play sports
with
Change preposition
apply
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desire and improve their discipline.
To sum up
Linking Words
 there are various reasons for
this
Linking Words
 rise in returning sports which old generation want to be in shape. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the
problem
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 lies with both elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and doctors.
Submitted by nurlan32 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivation
  • physical limitations
  • lack of time
  • fear of injury
  • exercise facilities
  • misunderstanding
  • benefits of exercise
  • social support
  • poor health conditions
  • awareness
  • appropriate exercises
  • guidance
  • financial constraints
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