In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's contemporary world, it has become a

reverant

Correct your spelling

reverent

The word reverant is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

activity of fetching a job or

to fly

Change the verb form

flying

To fly doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples

overseas to be acquainted with the essential life skills before getting started with their higher education. Indeed, in

this

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case

Add a comma

,case

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this case. Consider adding a comma.

show examples

the students are deliberately let into a situation

where

Correct your spelling

wherein

The word where in seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples

Change preposition

apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

every time they are intrigued with the most required aspects for facing the real world through their experience.

However

Linking Words

, in another case, they are highly likely to get diverted from a regular study routine and take up a different path which is not careered

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

The word prospective doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples

Leena KapoorFri Jul 09 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

92 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that air travel can only have positive effects on the richest individuals in the world, however, ordinary residents do not have a chance to get the benefits of air travel. In my opinion, I disagree with this view, I will list the following reasons to support my thought.
7.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
For some, competition plays a crucial role at work, at school, and even in our daily lives. However, others would express cooperation as the key method instead. Personally, I reckon that both approaches are indispensable, and it is more about what type of environment suits the method the most.
7
band
It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much as from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that the best ways to learn about other countries are different sources of information such as the internet or literature than attending these places yourself. This essay disagrees with this statement because books and pictures do not give you the same knowledge and feelings as travelling, and you cannot try foreign food.
6.5
band
some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people think that owning cars gives them leisure and liberty. Thus, people buy more cars and vehicles for travelling. However, I strongly opine that developing infrastructure for improved public transport is the key to safe and secure travel, as well as it helps reduce traffic and air pollution caused by vehicles.
6
band
Sports is one of the most important draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sports on television is to blame for the poor health of young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Nowadays, more TV stations broadcast sports programs to attract youngsters who are into sports. Most people believe that the trend, however, has caused unhealthy habits because they passively watch the programs rather than do physical activities.I highly disagree with that notion because of two reasons.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much as from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.