IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the countryside. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?

#years #countries #development #standards #areas #countryside #situation #country
It is widely agreed that in the recent period, some nations have witnessed a rapid acceleration in the growth of the economy.
However
,
this
 brings about a better living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for only
people
 who reside in urban spaces, not for
people
 on the outskirts.
This
 trend may represent some threats for the country, but there are measures designed to alleviate the situation. One major negative influence, as a direct result of the trend, is a decrease in the number of individuals of working age in the suburbs.
In other words
, when they eventually reach adulthood, they might tend to leave their hometown for cities, where a greater living standard is practically more accessible. As in the case of Hanoi, because it offers a plethora of well-paid occupations as well as various recreational activities, many
people
 make a decision to work and live in
this
 city, in lieu of their rural home areas.
Therefore
,it contributes to the lack of
workforce
Correct article usage
a workforce
show examples
, which may a negative economic effect on not only the outskirts but
also
 the country as a whole.
However
, there are some plausible solutions that may tackle
this
 concern.
Firstly
, the government should take the responsibility to allocate more substantial resources into ensuring the countryside
people
 experience a proper improvement in their quality of living
such
 as infrastructure and health access. As a consequence, more
people
 are likely to stay in their hometown to distribute their own working ability to the prosperity of the town.
Furthermore
, a greater number of large companies and organisations should be strongly encouraged to position factories and offices in the suburbs, which may provide a potential opportunity to increase
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 income.
Thus
,
this
 remedy may act as a spur to guarantee enough
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 for rural areas. To conclude,even though the aforementioned trend is a major factor responsible for a shortage in
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
 on the outskirts,some methods are available to resolve the situation.
Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: