Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Some artistic places

such

Linking Words

as galleries and

museums

Use synonyms

request a

fee

Use synonyms

entrance

Use synonyms

whereas others do not charge any admission

fee

Use synonyms

. Certainly, there are positive sides as well as downsides,

however

Linking Words

, in my

perspective

Add a comma

,perspective

show examples

there are more negative developments if these

institutions

Use synonyms

allow

Use synonyms

fee

Correct your spelling

free

show examples

entrance

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, some benefits are possible to be seen once free

entrance

Use synonyms

is permitted. One of them is that

this

Linking Words

trend may incentive

people

Use synonyms

visiting

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

centre more frequent. It is a way to create a more engaged population towards

artistic

Add an article

the artistic

show examples

profession. In Europe,

for instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are extremely involved with historical and traditional

museums

Use synonyms

. It is because they learnt how to admire these

institutions

Use synonyms

by going there.

Additionally

Linking Words

, more schools could take their students to

museums

Use synonyms

and lesson them about its importance and its careers perspectives. It is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

regard that educational

institutions

Use synonyms

ought to show to teenagers.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, there are evident negative developments as a consequence of

this

Linking Words

feeless

entrance

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, they disincentive good payments for artists, because their income mostly come

Change preposition

from

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

and galleries visits.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if the

entrance

Use synonyms

is free, the artist work,

such

Linking Words

as paints or sculptures, are not being valued properly.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, every institution needs money to maintain

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

infrastructure. They need to keep the

place

Use synonyms

tidy, organised and

also

Linking Words

, pay their employees. It is impossible to have a well-

culturalised

Correct your spelling

culturalist

country where citizens value artists work without paying any

fee

Use synonyms

. It is a way to educate

people

Use synonyms

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

to deliver the right value for a

place

Use synonyms

and the other’s job. In conclusion, it is debatable whether artistic

institutions

Use synonyms

should request an

entrance

Use synonyms

fee

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because positive and negative sides have their own merits.

Although

Linking Words

, I defend that disadvantages outweigh the benefits. It is because nobody works for free and a

place

Use synonyms

needs the money to maintain its infrastructure. Even though the attitude of free charge might bring a positive incentive to

people

Use synonyms

, they will not really give the right value for the

place

Use synonyms

nor for the work.

alexandretco

Jul 9, 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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