IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the money spent in developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more benefical wats to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #technology #space #exploration #wats
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A significant amount of
money
 is spent by the government on
space
 research. Many believe that the enormous expenditure on
space
 exploration is not necessary and they should spend
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
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 other developments. I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views in
this
 essay and completely agree that
money
 has to be spent on the betterment of society. For the past 70
years
Add a comma
,years
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 a lot of
money
 has been allocated to
space
 research and
a
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apply
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very little benefit has
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
. Every year countries have sent spacecraft to
the
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apply
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Mars, Moon and other planets to search for sustainable forms of energy or living beings but with no much evidence.
Last
 year Chandrayaan expedition to Mars was a failure as it missed the target and could not land well.
Thus
, the government needs to introspect on the major necessities of its citizens. Most of the nations are facing multiple issues
such
 as unemployment, poverty and economic disparity and the amount of budget spent on these are very minimal. On top of that, the health sector received only 2 % of the total proportion of the overall allocation of
money
 in the previous year.
This
 resulted in a significant shortage of medical facilities due to the COVID pandemic and the loss of many lives.
Hence
, there is a need for a higher amount of expenditure on issues that are plaguing the
country
. in Conclusion, though
space
 research helps in the development of the
country
 in science and technology, other problems including health, education and jobs need to be given an adequate boost by the government of the
country
. In my opinion, a lot of thinking is necessary for the allocation of
money
 for the upliftment of the
country
 as a whole.
Submitted by shishduble on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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