Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that life after technology is easier than before.
This
essay completely agrees with this
statement because it helps doctors find the aetiology of diseases and assists students in learning anything from anywhere.
Through advanced equipment invention in the health sector, physicians can diagnose their patients in a more effective and efficient way. In previous days, the health workers spent much time to analyze the pathophysiology of an illness. Also
, they were likely to misdiagnose their patients' conditions which are related to the wrong medicine given. However
, since there are ubiquitous health tools found, these problems seem to have decreased ever since. For example
, the number of malaria diseases was quite high, especially in Africa, but it has been almost eradicated since the microscope was invented, and then
because of it, physicians could give the right medicine as they knew more about the actual parasite.
In education, moreover
, students can learn any subject no matter where they are. Learners in the past usually allocated much of their money and time to travel and find a good teacher who can teach them. Although
nowadays it still happens in some rural areas, generally many people all around the world can absorb information easily by just opening their laptop and connecting it to the internet. Indonesia, for instance
, in the 1930s before the country became an independent nation, the Papuan had to travel more than 4.000 kilometres by ship to the capital city just to gain a degree from a university. However
, nowadays there are many people who graduated online.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that technology brings an easier life since doctors and students can finish their jobs efficiently and effectivelySubmitted by lulukfuru on
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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer distinction between different arguments to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
You might want to use more varied linking words to prevent repetition and improve flow.
task achievement
You have effectively covered both health and education sectors as examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully used specific examples to support your points, such as the use of microscopes in healthcare.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?