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Band 4.5

Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

#people #time #activities #music #theater #sport
Many believe the younger generation should concentrate more on extra
activities
such
 as music, painting rather than on
sports
. I strongly disagree with the statement, children should spend quality
time
 in all
activities
moreover
 it depends on every individual person to choose which wants to spend more
time
. To being with, every individual has their own unique talent. To identify them they have to explore various
activities
 to find the interest. if we restrict n the
time
 spend on
sports
 may not be able to find the exact talent of a child. For ,example in ,school all students are giving the opportunity to participate in all games and cultural
activities
 equally. as
Correct article usage
a
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Correct your spelling
result
in result
inresult
Add a comma
,inresult
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 a child gets more knowledge and understand his passion towards the particulate
activities
 and concentrate more on to it which they prefer.
On the other hand
,
sports
 help them to be physically active. in the early stage of ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth they need more physical works which increase growth. In a study conducted by a group of ,scientists the younger generating who are more active in
sports
 increased they concentrate power in education.
therefore
 reducing the
time
 on
sports
 not a piece of good advice for young people. In conclusion, all
activities
 are equally important whether it is cultural or
sports
 both should be given quality opportune and the younger generation should learn the mall by restricting the
time
 for
sports
 are not best practice.
Submitted by thamil.selvan05 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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