IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

#people #time #activities #music #theater #sport
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Many believe the younger generation should concentrate more on extra
activities
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such
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 as music, painting rather than on
sports
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. I strongly disagree with the statement, children should spend quality
time
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 in all
activities
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moreover
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 it depends on every individual person to choose which wants to spend more
time
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. To being with, every individual has their own unique talent. To identify them they have to explore various
activities
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 to find the interest. if we restrict n the
time
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 spend on
sports
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 may not be able to find the exact talent of a child. For ,example in ,school all students are giving the opportunity to participate in all games and cultural
activities
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 equally. as
Correct article usage
a
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result
in result
inresult
Add a comma
,inresult
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 a child gets more knowledge and understand his passion towards the particulate
activities
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 and concentrate more on to it which they prefer.
On the other hand
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,
sports
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 help them to be physically active. in the early stage of ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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growth they need more physical works which increase growth. In a study conducted by a group of ,scientists the younger generating who are more active in
sports
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 increased they concentrate power in education.
therefore
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 reducing the
time
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 on
sports
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 not a piece of good advice for young people. In conclusion, all
activities
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 are equally important whether it is cultural or
sports
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 both should be given quality opportune and the younger generation should learn the mall by restricting the
time
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 for
sports
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 are not best practice.
Submitted by thamil.selvan05 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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