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Band 5.5

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend
For a decade, the number of babies who are obese has drastically risen in the developed countries .
This
 essay would discuss the underlying reasons for obesity in these
kids
 and the impact of
this
 on their lifestyle. The fundamental cause for the increase in the fat levels of children in the westernized societies is the habit of taking junk
foods
.That means as bakery items are widely available across every corner of an area in the developed countries,
kids
 have got habituated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consuming these fatty
foods
.
For instance
, a kid can just walk ten steps and can get a pizza in those countries.
Thus
 easy access
of
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to
show examples
 unhealthy
foods
have
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has
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 made the
kids
 get used to them.
Second
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The second
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 reason is that in these nations most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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children are addicted to online games and mobile phones.
As a result
, physical activity has totally decreased.
Therefore
 most of the
kids
 suffer
with
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from
show examples
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
. The
first
 consequence of having a heavy
body
 is having
a
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apply
show examples
great difficulty in
the
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apply
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movement.
In other words
, their
body
 weight may not let them
to
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apply
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do their deeds
by
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on
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 their own.
Besides
this
 , at a small age itself , they get
proned
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prone
 to
variety
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a variety
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 of diseases.
For example
,
diabetis
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 is the most common disease which
get
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gets
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 triggered if bad
cholestrol
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cholesterol
 of the
body
 get
sticked
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stuck
show examples
 to the tissues of the
body
.
As a result
, they have to take the medicines throughout their life. To conclude, as junk
foods
 have become a daily part of the
kids
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kid's
kids'
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 lives in the modernized nations, they are
attrcating
Correct your spelling
attracting
 many long term
allignmnets
Correct your spelling
alignments
 for which they have to be under medical supervision
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throughout
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through out
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throughout
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the
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apply
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life.
Submitted by Sri on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
What to do next:
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