Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #music #form #entertainment #whilst #impact #society

People

have different views about whether

music

is only a way of entertainment or it

also

plays a crucial

part

in humanity.

This

essay will discuss both sides of the views and I support the former view for the following reasons. One of the main features of the

music

is to create a relaxed and harmonious atmosphere.

First

off,

music

is capable of changing our mood, which can alter our feelings.

Consequently

, several

people

use

music

to reduce their stress in study or at work as

music

can refresh your mind.

For example

, a study conducted by Cambridge University revealed that numerous

people

, find it more satisfying and enjoyable to work while listening to their favourite piece of

music

Thus

music

increases their productivity to some extent.

On the other hand

music

is an important

part

of society and every society has its relationship with

music

This

is because

music

has the ability to connect

people

beyond national boundaries and bring

people

together.

For instance

, When

people

go to a musical concert, they are with different

people

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

they do not know, still, they feel connected as they share their similar musical tastes.

Moreover

Music

also

links us to our culture and tradition.

That is

why

music

has always been a

part

of ceremonies because it has the ability to make

people

feel connected.

Lastly

Music

also

part

of prayer in many religions and cultures. In conclusion,

music

is not just for entertainment. It has many roles in society

such

as connecting

people

to each other and to their culture, making them rich and famous and

also

relaxing them.

Submitted by mayur.gupta44 on Sun Jul 11 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, busses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be the passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argued that the money should spent on improving living standards on Earth.Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that ambition is a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?