Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters

People

have different views about whether apartment buildings should be allowed to build around the

city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

instead

of having

parks

and

gardens

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to reduce travelling time to go to work. While building apartment close to the

city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

is beneficial, I believe it is more important to have

parks

and

gardens

near the

city

center

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centre

show examples

. On the one hand, having apartments around the

center

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centre

show examples

of the town is good for

people

who work in the

city

because they can save travelling time. Apart from that,

people

live

Correct pronoun usage

who live

show examples

near the

city

may not need to drive or take a bus to the workplace as so can save money

Change preposition

show examples

transportation.

In addition

, it is

benefit

Add an article

a benefit

show examples

for the around stores or commercial activities development.

Last

but not least, live near the workplace can reduce stress.

For example

: they do not need to wake up too early or

rush

Correct your spelling

push

show examples

themselves in order to

caught

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catch

show examples

the bus.

On the other hand

, it is perhaps even more important to have

gardens

and

parks

near the

city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Gardens

and

parks

are

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

place

Change the noun form

places

show examples

for

people

to chill out and unwind their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

especially nowadays

people

under

different

Change the article

a different

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of pressure.

Also

parks

and

gardens

can remove a wide variety of

city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

pollutants from the air because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

trees exist. It is no doubt that

gardens

and

parks

are places where

people

are able to make connections, meet new friends and participate in recreational activities in order to

promoting

Change the verb

promote

show examples

community wellness. As for parents, it is crucial for kids to have a place to play outside and it is free. In conclusion, I can understand why

people

might want to have more apartments near the

city

, but it seems to me that having

gardens

and

parks

are much more desirable in the long-term goal.

Submitted by chrissywuwu on Sun Jul 11 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

commuters
urban areas
housing availability
alleviating housing crises
public transport
traffic congestion
environmental health
biodiversity
recreational
mental health benefits
urban heat islands
green lungs
community interaction
cohesion
innovative urban planning
multi-use buildings

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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?