In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages

#places #people’s #lifestyles #relationships #developments

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Nowadays, everything is quicker than ever and

this

Linking Words

acceleration

also

Linking Words

reflecting

Wrong verb form

reflected

show examples

in lifestyles. Today's

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

opportunities and advancements in every field, people tend to change their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

location

Fix the agreement mistake

locations

show examples

easily.

Although

Linking Words

it may affect family relations, it makes sense

of keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

pace with life and embrace new opportunities.

This

Linking Words

way, our time will be more valuable and not wasted.

This

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is why I found

this

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situation beneficial in every respect. First of all, it is a fact that when you structure your permanent lifestyle with a family, it is harder to abandon where you live or your job because every decision you make

also

Linking Words

interests others to whom you are attached and

restrict

Correct subject-verb agreement

restricts

show examples

your freedom. Indeed, if you want to change your

even

Rephrase

apply

show examples

department

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work, you will have second thoughts because vest amount of elements may depend on you

such

Linking Words

as location or salary in the family.

For instance

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, some occupations in Turkey request to

moving

Wrong verb form

move from

show examples

city to city regularly

such

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as soldiers and judges which

is making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

it so hard for a soldier's family to be acquainted with neighbours and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a permanent layout.

On the other hand

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, advancements in technology and communication allow us to socialise with people on the other side of the world and even we are influenced by them or other lifestyles in social media.

Therefore

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, classic job defining or steps in lifepaths are mostly abandoned and substituted with quick and sudden changes.

For instance

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,so many people are influencers as a career on social media with university diplomas from medicine or law which couldn't be imagined in the past.

To conclude

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, sudden changes in life may seem

disadvantage

Replace the word

disadvantageous

show examples

due to

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affecting folks around us.

However

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, developments in every field make it possible to

getting

Change the form of the verb

get

show examples

closer to our dreams as freer and act

according to

Linking Words

our wishes compared with decades ago.

Submitted by bilgekapusuzoglu on Sun Jul 11 2021

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak and lacks clarity. The introduction and conclusion are present, but require more development to effectively bookend the essay. The main points lack strong supporting evidence and coherence is lacking in several areas. Develop a clear, well-structured argument with stronger supporting examples.

task achievement

The response addresses the prompt but the ideas lack clarity and coherence. There is an attempt to present relevant examples but they are not well-connected to the main points. Focus on providing a clear and comprehensive argument that effectively addresses the prompt.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

geographic separation
economic advancement
technological advancements
face-to-face interactions
egalitarian structures
gender roles
traditional roles
work demands
financial stability
access to education
healthcare
cultural shifts
traditions
cultural identity
family heritage

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In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages

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You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter introduce yourself describe your plans for the party invite your neighbour to come

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. Do you agree and disagree with this opinions.?

In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?