In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages

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Nowadays, everything is quicker than ever and

this

Linking Words

acceleration

also

Linking Words

reflecting

Wrong verb form

reflected

show examples

in lifestyles. Today's

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

opportunities and advancements in every field, people tend to change their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

location

Fix the agreement mistake

locations

show examples

easily.

Although

Linking Words

it may affect family relations, it makes sense

of keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

pace with life and embrace new opportunities.

This

Linking Words

way, our time will be more valuable and not wasted.

This

Linking Words

is why I found

this

Linking Words

situation beneficial in every respect. First of all, it is a fact that when you structure your permanent lifestyle with a family, it is harder to abandon where you live or your job because every decision you make

also

Linking Words

interests others to whom you are attached and

restrict

Correct subject-verb agreement

restricts

show examples

your freedom. Indeed, if you want to change your

even

Rephrase

apply

show examples

department

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work, you will have second thoughts because vest amount of elements may depend on you

such

Linking Words

as location or salary in the family.

For instance

Linking Words

, some occupations in Turkey request to

moving

Wrong verb form

move from

show examples

city to city regularly

such

Linking Words

as soldiers and judges which

is making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

it so hard for a soldier's family to be acquainted with neighbours and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a permanent layout.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, advancements in technology and communication allow us to socialise with people on the other side of the world and even we are influenced by them or other lifestyles in social media.

Therefore

Linking Words

, classic job defining or steps in lifepaths are mostly abandoned and substituted with quick and sudden changes.

For instance

Linking Words

,so many people are influencers as a career on social media with university diplomas from medicine or law which couldn't be imagined in the past.

To conclude

Linking Words

, sudden changes in life may seem

disadvantage

Replace the word

disadvantageous

show examples

due to

Linking Words

affecting folks around us.

However

Linking Words

, developments in every field make it possible to

getting

Change the form of the verb

get

show examples

closer to our dreams as freer and act

according to

Linking Words

our wishes compared with decades ago.

bilgekapusuzogluSun Jul 11 2021

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak and lacks clarity. The introduction and conclusion are present, but require more development to effectively bookend the essay. The main points lack strong supporting evidence and coherence is lacking in several areas. Develop a clear, well-structured argument with stronger supporting examples.

task achievement

The response addresses the prompt but the ideas lack clarity and coherence. There is an attempt to present relevant examples but they are not well-connected to the main points. Focus on providing a clear and comprehensive argument that effectively addresses the prompt.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

geographic separation
economic advancement
technological advancements
face-to-face interactions
egalitarian structures
gender roles
traditional roles
work demands
financial stability
access to education
healthcare
cultural shifts
traditions
cultural identity
family heritage

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In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?