A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for research. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many individuals hold firmly to
belief
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the belief
show examples
that
animals
are utilise
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are utilised
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by humans and not evaluated as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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emotional
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
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to have rights.
In
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On
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the other
hand
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,hand
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there are many
people
claimed
Correct pronoun usage
who claimed
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that
animals
can use for different purposes
such
as scientific stic research. In my opinion, I believe that creatures other than humans can have equal rights as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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living
soul
Fix the agreement mistake
souls
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.
First
and foremost, I totally agree that
animals
deserve
evaluating
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evaluation
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like an individual and should not use for individuals pleasure. There are many species in zoos just holding for to entertain the
people
even
Correct your spelling
though
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tough
Correct your spelling
though
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their nature is not suitable for some occasions.
For example
, a polar bear
are
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is
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diagnosed
as
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with
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depression
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depressed
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due to high temperatures
reture
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return
retire
in Argentina. In fact, the main
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
behind that
this
creature
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creative
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force
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forced
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to live in different conditions than his nature.
People
should not have to right to capture and exhibit
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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emotional living things for their own pleasure.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, nobody can contest that using
animals
to
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for to
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purpose
Add an article
the purpose
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of scientific research contribute
our
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to our
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society significantly. Pharmaceutical companies generally blamed for using
animals
for their products
however
it is fact that our progress in medicine
depend
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depends
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on
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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researches. There are many
people
with severe diseases ases still waiting for a cure for their agonies.
For example
, gene therapy is
an
Correct article usage
the
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only remedy for some muscle disorders and
reserches
Correct your spelling
researchers
researches
still ongoing to find another solution that's why experiments need to continue even
tough
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though
show examples
consisting
animal
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of animal
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usage.
On the other
hand
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,hand
show examples
there are many potential
area
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areas
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to minimize utilisation of
animal
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the animal
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as
guinea
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a guinea
the guinea
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pig and
this
situation
have
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has
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to improve by these corporations and of course regulation
by laws
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bylaws
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. In conclusion, it is obvious that
animals
are seen as
an emotional creatures
Correct the article-noun agreement
emotional creatures
an emotional creature
show examples
like human beings and have equal rights prevent to exploit them.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
the contribution to our society of using
animals
in research activities es is undeniable while actions must be taken to prevent and reduce using living things for only our species sake.
Submitted by gorkemozzeytin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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