Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat? Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that mothers and fathers of overweight kids should be penalized

due to

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supporting them to be fat.

This

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essay disagrees with

this

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statement because obesity can be caused by genetics and

children

Use synonyms

usually eat unhealthy food outside of the home.

Firstly

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, one of the reasons

children

Use synonyms

become obese is genetics. Actually, kids receive the genes from the older generation of their family.

Therefore

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, if someone has a slow metabolism, they are naturally inclined to gain more fat.

For instance

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, a recent study found that 30 % of the

children

Use synonyms

in North America suffer from morbid obesity

due to

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genetic disorders.

Secondly

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, adults are not with their kids all day. When

children

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are at school they eat snacks and adults have no control over their dietary intake during

this

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time. A child could consume the majority of their calories during these unsupervised periods without their parents and much of

this

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eating junk food at

this

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moment.

For example

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, recent research concluded that more than 70% of middle school students prefer hamburgers or hotdogs as lunch in school cafeterias. In conclusion, parents should not be sanctioned if their sons or daughters are too heavy because they are unable to supervise their diet during the day and genes play a main role in the weight of a human being.

janmuldayevaa1Fri May 24 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well, but make sure to explore a slightly broader range of perspectives to boost the task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Work on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, effectively framing your argument.

relevant specific examples

You have used relevant and specific examples which support your points and make your argument more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

219 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
genetics
socio-economic status
nutritional education
physical activity programs
adverse effects
mental health issues
responsibility sharing
implementation
privileged families
supportive environment
lifestyle changes
educational campaigns

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Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat? Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many High Street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

The cost of living is higher in many countries. What are the effects of higher prices on individuals and society? What is the best way for people to deal with this problem?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

Nature of the overall Engineering Project and my particular Work Area

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool. To what extent do you agree with this?