Some think that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retired from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern era, with highly developed technologies life is now much more comfortable.Since
then
Linking Words
life expectancy has been higher than 50 years ago.Many
people
Use synonyms
have argued that because
people
Use synonyms
are living longer
then
Linking Words
the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
should be higher. But in my honest view,
this
Linking Words
will bring more unemployment and unproductivity.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
opinion I have said. As you know, the number of jobs available is limited.If
Use synonyms
retirement
Add an article
the retirement
show examples
age
Use synonyms
is higher, young
people
Use synonyms
will have a hard time finding jobs.There is a fact which suggests that raising
Use synonyms
retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
show examples
age
Use synonyms
reduces youth employment in both sub-periods.
For instance
Linking Words
in Burkina Faso in 2017
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had the highest unemployment rate in the world, exactly at 77
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.So if the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
is altered,
this
Linking Words
country soon will collapse when approximately 88
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
won’t have jobs. As elderlies can have serious health problems, they can be
off-work
Correct your spelling
off work
show examples
for many days.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they lack
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
required
such
Linking Words
as using the computer and the internet.
Thus
Linking Words
productivity is decreased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, young workers are more energetic, fast thinkers and very confident.They have the ability to cope with
such
Linking Words
hard conditions and challenges.
For example
Linking Words
, in a company with flexible youngsters can increase productivity than that with seniors. On a final note, I strongly agree that raising the
age
Use synonyms
of
retirement
Use synonyms
is a useless move, as economic development will be higher with new fresh employees
Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: