IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many countries, smoking tobacco has been banned by law, while others ignore this idea. We will discuss both sides of the discussion and give a concluding view?

On the one hand, those who support smoking
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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 in social places cite health issues because
smoke
Use synonyms
 contains hazardous substances that cause cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. It has vital importance, especially for those who do not
smoke
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
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 because secondhand
smoke
Use synonyms
 has more adverse health effects than firsthand
smoke
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. Evidence from many studies shows that most victims of tobacco-related diseases are a nonsmoker. These people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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range from children to pregnant women and elders.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many people
disgust
Wrong verb form
are disgusted
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cigarettes
Change preposition
with cigarettes
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 in the public community. It means smokers should respect the
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 of others.
Also
Linking Words
, youths and children tend to try or addict to smoking unconsciously by seeing public places smoking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents of
such
Linking Words
law
Correct article usage
a law
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 cite some benefits that
this
Linking Words
 can bring to a person and state.
To
Change preposition
In
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 some countries, the state budget mainly consisted of
smoke
Use synonyms
 production. An example can be seen in Chinese provinces that are solely dependent on
smoke
Use synonyms
 production. Forbidding
smoke
Use synonyms
 leads to economic difficulties in
such
Linking Words
 regions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is argued that consuming things that give pleasure is a matter of freedom.
Overall
Linking Words
, I would tend to side with the supporters of enacting laws on smoking. It seems to be a valuable decision for health. Even if some countries make profits from
smoke
Use synonyms
 import, in the future, maybe it would equate with expenditures for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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healthcare
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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