IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #sports #event #country
According to some
people
,hosting an international
event
 is beneficial for a country whereas another section of
people
 is against organising
such
 events. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both of the viewpoints. Undoubtedly, conducting
such
 a big
event
 opens the door for many new opportunities for a nation.
For example
, it gives
boost
Add an article
a boost
show examples
 to the tourism sector as many sportsmen,media and spectators visit the country for witnessing the competition.They create the memories and wish to come back to that place again. An
event
 of
such
 a scale requires the up-gradation of the infrastructure which gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment to the poor and helps in the
asset building
Add a hyphen
asset-building
show examples
 process for a nation.
Conversely
,many
people
 opine that they are not good for a country. They take away the money which could have been spent on the poor
people
 who feel it hard to make both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ends meet.
Moreover
,
influx
Add an article
the influx
an influx
show examples
 of the foreigners may lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in crime and other security issues. They contend that it is necessary to provide the basic facilities to the
people
 before organising
such
 a lavish
event
. To conclude,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that though hosting an international sports
event
 have its own advantages as well as disadvantages. The rich states should definitely organise
such
 events whereas poor countries should invest money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 providing the basic amenities to their
people
.
Submitted by hmann2396 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: