In many country the proportion of older people increasing . Does this trend have positive or negative effect.?

#country #proportion #people #trend #effect

The lifespan of

people

incresing

Correct your spelling

increasing

day by day due to technology and medical services. Nowadays ,

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of older

people

increasing in many nations. I would argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

issue can bring some problems. The problem associated with

this

problem is health care costs will increase, after that

government

imposing the taxes on working

people

so ,it will

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to burden of employers and

empoyees

Correct your spelling

employees

.Another reason is that

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apply

show examples

owing to lack of money

government

put

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

essential needs

such

as education and transportation .

For example

, in many

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

India

Add a comma

,India

show examples

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

60 years of retirement age and after that

government

pay them from

people

tax.

Moreover

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

is very crucial for

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of nations.

In addition

, in

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

private

company

Change to a plural noun

companies

show examples

like TATA and Reliance

Add a comma

show examples

ageing

people

delay their retirement age which is beneficial for

public

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the public

show examples

On the other hand

experience

Correct your spelling

experienced

show examples

citizens are

also

needy for

whole

Add an article

the whole

show examples

society.

People

today try to live

healthy

Change the adjective

healthily

show examples

and

also

focus on healthy eating and sports .

For example

, in political

parties

Add a comma

,parties

show examples

senior

Fix the agreement mistake

seniors

show examples

can teach young

people

how to manage a fund of nations and how to provide better services for

people

nation

Add an article

the nation

a nation

show examples

. Many political

leader

Change to a plural noun

leaders

show examples

like Pranav

sharma

Change the capitalization

Sharma

show examples

finance minister of

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

still , working in

party

Add an article

the party

a party

show examples

without taking single rupees from

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

. The presence of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ageing

people

also

necessary for

smooth

Correct article usage

the smooth

show examples

functioning of the system . to

concluded

Change the form of the verb

conclude

show examples

, life expectancy

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

strong owing to technology and advanced health care services ,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will influence on economic development of a country .

Although

, we can make good use of

senior

Correct article usage

the senior

show examples

workforce.

Submitted by Harsh prajapati on Tue Jul 13 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many country the proportion of older people increasing . Does this trend have positive or negative effect.?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this!

We can see more disasters and violence show on TV What are its cause and what effects will they exert on the individual and the society

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point of view?

Some people think that government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think that supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion.