It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and grandparents are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #aunts #uncles #grandparents #child’s #upbringing #parents

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Nowadays, raising

children

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in the right way is one of the concern problems

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. While some people argued that members in the extended family could contribute to

develop

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developing

show examples

children

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’s upbringing than only

parents

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, I personally agree with

this

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point of view. On the one hand,

parents

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are the main responsible for the care and upbringing of their

children

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, so they can teach their

child

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enrich

Add the particle

to enrich

show examples

their academic

knowledge

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and lifestyle according to available experience. To illustrate

this

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point, some

parents

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could teach greeting culture and

knowledge

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in academic books, but they unable to help their

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

explore the variety of

knowledge

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in other fields.

In contrast

Linking Words

parents

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devote a huge amount of time to work rather than stay with their

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child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

That is

Linking Words

the reason a few

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child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

experience feelings of loneliness and isolation, which lead them to limit

the

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their

show examples

ability to study in the future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I believe that the all of members

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family

Add an article

the family

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could help

children

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’s

knowledge

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develop effectively in both academic and real life.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

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could learn how to respect the older and enhance

knowledge

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about valuable different traditions in the past from their grandparents.

This

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is because they have more experience living in the

longtime

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long time

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as well as the way to raising their kid, so elders could spend their time

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apply

show examples

caring and teaching

children

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about lifestyle

knowledge

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which they are unable to study at school.

Moreover

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, the other relatives

such

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as aunts and uncles

also

Linking Words

support

child

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education to en broader their

hoziron

Correct your spelling

hot iron

in various aspects.

For example

Linking Words

uncles

Change the noun form

uncle

show examples

is a doctor who can help their

child

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understand the basic

knowledge

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to improve their mental and physical health when they were young.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the whole family play a crucial role in

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child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

upbringing because each individual could bring benefit for

children

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in their own way. In conclusion,

although

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arents

Correct your spelling

parents

show examples

can help their

children

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develop, I think they can not spend enough time and effort to help

children

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develop at their best. The whole family including aunts, uncles and grandparents will help develop more comprehensively in the future.

Submitted by minhkhoi1099 on Tue Jul 13 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multigenerational households
emotional and social development
rounded upbringing
valuable life skills
cultural traditions
heritage preservation
broad support network
psychological health
excessive interference
practical support
child-rearing
deeply rooted tradition
cultural context

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It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and grandparents are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • explain why you will be visiting the town • give details of where you will be staying • ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.