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Writing Samples
Band 6

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
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It is true that the development of technology
have
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has
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 had an influence on the activities children choose for their spare time. While I accept that these high techs can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe they are more likely to have a harmful impact. On the one hand, products with new technology,
such
Linking Words
 as
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smartphones
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smart phones
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smartphones
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 or watches and other high-tech devices can be both educational and entertaining. Information is more
approchable
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approachable
 for kids with just a click on the "search"
botton
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button
, with not only text descriptions but
also
Linking Words
 other formats like pictures or videos to illustrate the ideas. Children are
hence
Linking Words
 transported into a virtual world which is often more exciting and engaging than the well-worn books.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the process of exploring and using these new
technologies
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 encourages imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking, and
problem solving
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problem-solving
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, all of which are useful skills in life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, devices with new
technologies
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 can be highly
addctive
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addictive
 because users are constantly given new information and frequent updates. Many users, children
in particular
Linking Words
, now spend hours each day playing games, browsing around social media of all kinds.
This
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 type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep and exercise to problems at school
,
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apply
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 when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the phone or computer.
In addition
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, the availability of new communication
technologies
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such
Linking Words
 as online chatting can
also
Linking Words
 have the result
of
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in
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 isolating people and discouraging real interaction.
For instance
Linking Words
, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world, and these "virtual" relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of new
technologies
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 are more significant than the possible
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Submitted by 576579710 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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