Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

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Nowadays

junk

food

is very common all over the world and all generations love

this

food

however

this

meal is increasing their weight and they are facing

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

various health issues. In

this

essay, we will discuss the causes of obesity and

also

how to tackle

this

obstacle.

Firstly

, In the past,

people

do lots of

exercise

Change to a plural noun

exercises

show examples

and their work was connecting to physical activities so they did not have any problem regarding digestion but in

this

modern era technology access in every home so that,

people

depend on machines.

for instance

, if

people

go to the grocery store and it near to their homes but still they prefer car or bike beside the walk. These days

people

are TRING TO avoid physical work or exercise that affect their body fat.

Secondly

junk

food

/street

food

is one of the biggest reasons why folks suffer from obesity.

This

foodfood

Correct your spelling

food food

good food

available everywhere and

also

there is lots of variety so youth have so many choices,

For example

, according to the report every day one street

food

shop sells 10000 plates of

junk

food

ALTHOUGH

this

food

is not healthy FOR THEM and thAT cause

food

poisoning AND MANY MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS. To overcome

this

epidemic, society takes to go the extra mile and avoid street or

junk

food

. Rise healthy

food

in their diet,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

additionally

Add a comma

,additionally

show examples

try to avoid car and bike go for a walk daily.

people

should not downplay the importance of walk. Drink lots of water to hydrate your body AND it

ALSO

helps TO reduced weight. In conclusion, All over the world obesity is a common but stern problem but with the help of exercise and proper ,diet

this

problem will be TACKLE easily.

Submitted by shikhasejwal2 on Tue Jul 13 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.