IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
Nowadays, social networking become rapidly changing the lives of
people
 around the world and creating a high demand for all different levels of
people
 in society. Some
people
clime
Correct your spelling
claim
show examples
 that it has several drawbacks if
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 use it in undue ways and share personal data. I strongly agree that the cons outweigh the pros. The following paragraphs discuss both advantages and disadvantages and reach a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
 with, there are many benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using social media. It is becoming more useful and beneficial in terms of gaining information and enabling users to communicate well with each other among
people
. To illustrate more, through those applications’ official institutions in developed
counites
Correct your spelling
counties
show examples
 can use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as magnificent tools to announce the latest news or regulations via those channels.
Furthermore
, it is likely supported the citizen to interact and compline about through applications
such
 as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
On the other hand
, social networking has its drawbacks, to clarify, many influencers share the personal
life
 with followers which lead to increase their income and encourage others to follow their trend and the way of lifestyle.
For example
,
people
 who have high revenues love to spend a couple of days in a luxury hotel, fancy car and wearing expensive clothes.
Moreover
, sharing
life
 details will allow thieves to do many crimes
such
 as smuggling and kidnapping. As result, the more sharing personal
life
 the more you get murder In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of
this
 topic it is not hard to see that the advantages exceed the disadvantages. Social media enhanced consumers to connect more to have great access to information and more communication with others.
People
 should careful not to share their personal
life
 publicly.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: