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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Music
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in peoples lives and brings a lot of fantastic memories and inspiration to us. Some sections of society shed that
music
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 can eliminate the language gap and cultural differences between
people
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. In my opinion, I totally agree about
this
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 argument for the following reasons.
Firstly
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,
music
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 is another
style
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 of language. No matter where you are and which language you speak,
people
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 can all enjoy
music
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. Even some of you who are not experts in
this
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 field can feel the tune and rhythm to freely precise the emotion of the
music
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 expression without problems.
For example
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, when we participate in a concert, we can sense happiness or sorrow whether the is light or heavy.
Secondly
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,
music
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 can
also
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 demolish the generation gap between a variety of ages. There is no classification between the age group in the
music
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 world,
people
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 normally think elderly
people
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 may prefer gentle
music
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 comparing the young generation, whereas there is no evidence that can prove that. So, you can find the different age groups of
people
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 who love the same
style
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 of
music
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,
such
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 as pop
music
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 and blues sound.
Furthermore
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,
music
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 is good for mental health building for individuals, nowadays. The individuals in the fast-paced society are usually quite alone by the severe press formworks or studies or the economy, like mortgage and increasing living costs. While
music
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 can cushion these kinds of pressures by listing the soft
music
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 or as the background
music
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 for
people
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 while meditation.
Moreover
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,
people
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 are more likely to obsessed with the security
style
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 of
music
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 and the tune which may recall their memory from the past or some cherish childhood stories, easily gathering different parts of the societies together.
People
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 are more like to discuss with the common
style
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 of
music
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 together and chase for the general interest which may get together with different ages of
people
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. In conclusion, I agree about
music
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 are actually good for social cohesion and personal enhancing.
Music
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Use synonyms
Change the capitalization
Music
show examples
music
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
can bring us a lot of merits not only for the old and young but
also
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 for cultural diversity.
Submitted by jyo87 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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