In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some nations, it is getting more and more usual for individuals to stick to vegetarianism.
Remove the comma

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
a vegetarian
can result in a low
intake, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because of the positive impacts a vegetarian
has on hunting. Some people fear that a vegetarian
cannot provide adequate
to sustain long-term health. It is well that meat is a rich source of
, which the body needs in order to grow and repair cells, and vegetables often lack essential amino acids, which could result in vegetarians experiencing a weakened immune system or a number of other diseases.
For example
, the Dalai Lama, who was a vegetarian for his whole life, developed jaundice, and his doctors now require him to eat meat twice a week to obtain the required nutrients to stay healthy.
, I feel that animal products can be substituted by nuts and pulses which are
excellent sources of
. One of the main advantages of an increase in vegetarianism is that intensive hunting of sea creatures and slaughtering of land animals will slow down because few individuals will consume them. If people switch to being vegetarians, fewer crabs, fish, chickens and goats will be killed to supply the demand
Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
For example
, in recent years fishing at several sea coasts has been banned by the WHO to protect sea creatures due to overfishing.
, to save the ecosystem and cease hunting, it is essential to adopt a vegetarian
. In conclusion, the benefits of following a vegetarian
outweigh the drawbacks because it ceases excessive animal killing for food
Fix the agreement mistake

It seems that purpose may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, there would be a deficiency of
in meals as a consequence.
Submitted by denny.mathew66 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The best new way to check your essay
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Type your essay and get a band score instantly
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.