IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done?

#students #attention #school
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In
this
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modern day
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modern-day
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 and age, many
leaners
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learners
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 find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in
school
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.
Although
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 various factors have bought about
this
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 situation, societies need immediate and long-term ways to prevent
this
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 problem. Students are not good at consideration because of a number of subjective as well as objective factors.
Firstly
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 , the advancement of smart devices and unrestricted use of the internet for entertainment are remarkable barriers for students to focus on their lessons. Indeed,
children
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 spend hours surfing the web or playing games, so the
next
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 morning they will find
catnap
Correct article usage
a catnap
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,
distraction
Correct article usage
a distraction
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on
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from
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 studying. Not only that the text messages and notifications from
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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smart phones
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smartphones
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 during
school
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 hours can interrupt a child's train of thought.
Secondly
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, there is too much noise outside the classroom. The rest or ends of other classes and the machinery sounds of the construction site are typical examples. In fact, these disturbances not only distract the
children
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 but
also
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 make them unable to hear the teacher clearly. A tricky reason is that the traditional form and content of impartation are no longer flexible to
satify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 the demand of each student.
In other words
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,
speechs
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speech
speeches
 that are not tied to objective existence or outdated forms of communication will make
children
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 intricate absorbability. There are several actions that both society and government could take to solve the problem described above. The immediate solution is limiting the abuse of technology for entertainment.
For instance
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,
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Add an article
the school
a school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should ban the use of phones during lectures hours or parents can bound the time
children
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 keeping phones. Another effective solution is that depletion the noise come to the
children
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Such
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 as planting many trees around the
school
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 or using soundproofing materials like noise-proof glass, soundproof foams. Both of the above measures contribute to preventing the impact of external factors on
children
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.
Finally
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,
ministry
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the ministry
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 of education should revise the content as well as advance the method of education.
Udeniably
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Undeniably
, if theory goes hand in hand with practice as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vivid communication stimulates all senses of learners,
then
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children
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 will learn with purpose and excitement.
Thus
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, studying efficiency will be improved. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to address the problem that causes negative consequences
Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
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