IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some argue that we should use cleaner energy sources to protect the environment, even though they are more expensive than traditional energy sources like coal and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#argue #energy #sources #environment #oil
Few individuals advocate that the modifications of the existing power generation
energy
 are necessary in order to avoid pollution, whereas others want to continue the same procedures, as they are very cost-effective. I contend the people must opt the environment-friendly practices.
To begin
 with, there are a few positives of conventional
energy
 sources. The
energy
 produced by fossil fuels is far cheaper than cleaner
energy
 sources,
for example
, the cost of one unit of solar electricity in Pakistan is 4 dollars,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 a unit produced by petroleum is about 1.5 dollars.
Moreover
, mega infrastructures for coal and oil are already established in almost all countries of the world, while recyclable
energy
 plants are in their infancy yet. So the affordable and easy availability of traditional
energy
 resources has made them a favourite for consumers.
On the contrary
, there are enormous benefits of the shift from old
energy
 resources to cleaner ones.
First
 and foremost, it would significantly improve the general health condition of people,
for example
, according to a study published in the University of Punjab, the incidence of lung cancers are twice in the vicinity of coal power plants as compared to other areas.
Secondly
, a cleaner environment influenced by re-useable
energy
 resources can decrease the suffering of the population and save a reasonable amount of money for them. As they get fewer diseases in the pollution-free atmosphere, so they don't need to spend more revenue on healthcare facilities. In conclusion, I believe that even though conventional
energy
 sources are less expensive, cleaner
energy
 would make people healthier. It is the need of the hour to abolish old hazardous practices to make the planet cleaner and liveable for all creatures.
Submitted by drmehmoodahmed33 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: