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Band 7.5

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense
Ensuring citizens safety is a
government
's responsibility. Because of
this
, Some people believe that the
government
 should raise
defence
 spending, and decrease spending on social
benefits
.
This
 is a recipe for disaster because a reduction in social
benefits
 has a negative effect on the growth of the economy and increases the chances to be involved or start a war.
This
 essay is going to explain in detail the reasons behind
this
.
Firstly
, a reduction in social
benefits
 for an increase in
defence
 funds will slow the economy down, which in real terms means fewer jobs, higher unemployment, more families living below the poverty line, less technological advancement to mention a few, while creating the perfect conditions for criminal organisations to get new recruits among the large number of people living in despair.
For instance
, studies show that 1% more spent on
defence
 is a 9% reduction in economic growth, which will make the population more vulnerable and less secure. 
Secondly
, nations that spend more money in
defence
 are more likely to be involved in an armed conflict, which can cause the deaths of several people, increase the fret of terrorism,
therefore
 citizens safety is compromised.
For example
, the USA is the country with the highest
defence
 spending in the world,
however
instead
 of security is continuously involved in long and devastating wars and has experienced several terrorist attacks. The more money in
defence
, the less security a nation ends with.  To conclude, it is true that a
government
 is responsible for the safety of its citizens,
however
, I do not agree with those who say that the
government
 should increase spending on
defence
 and spend less on social
benefits
 because it would have the opposite effect caused by a fall in the country's development and opportunities for the population.
Submitted by antonblack31 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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