IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Several citizens believe that the best approach to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical fitness is providing sports facilities. Whilst, many say that it would have no significant effects on
people
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health
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the
first
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 statement and argues that opening
centres
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 could help. Some argue that inaugurating physical activities
centres
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 can help to increase the
health
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 of
people
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to, say because
residents
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 will have a proper space to spend their energy and calories.
Moreover
Linking Words
, coaches in facilities can guide individuals facing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 while performing the workout. I think that making public parks and stadiums can encourage
residents
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 to walk and run every day.
For example
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, in Delhi,
the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
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people
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 are fat and are facing the problem of obesity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the local departments have made some efforts to open public gyms to help
residents
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 to be physically fit.
However
Linking Words
, some comment that introducing public
health
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centres
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 will have
not
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tonot
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 effect on
people
Use synonyms
 bodies. They believe that educating citizens about
the
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apply
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bad fitness can help to resolve the issue. But,
this
Linking Words
 will result in procrastination. As the most
people
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 listen and delay the work.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently, many public-funded agencies advertised
on
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in
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 newspapers about the benefits of
a
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apply
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good
health
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. As a consequence, most
residents
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 read the article but not acted after that. In conclusion, numerous think that opening sports
centres
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 can result in
a
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apply
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sensational
health
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. On the other side, it has been said that it will not produce a good result. I personally think that facilitating
people
Use synonyms
 could help.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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