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Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history.some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skill that can help students find a job. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#schools #time #subjects #history #people #skill #students #job
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It is certainly true that the conventional curriculum
become
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has become
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 an important part of every
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schools
Change to a singular noun
school
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.
However
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,some people believe that the vocational
subjects
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 in
schools
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 get more attention
Correct your spelling
than
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that
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than
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 the historical
subjects
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.Indeed, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
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this
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 statement owing to
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 reasons.The
first
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 and foremost reason is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vocational training at
early
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the early
an early
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 age of schooling accelerates the interest of
students
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 to choose
particular
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a particular
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career
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.
For instance
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, computer classes from the primary level of
schools
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 inculcate the interest of
students
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 toward computer and later it
help
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helps
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 them to become computer professionals.
Moreover
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,these vocational training deviates the hesitation of candidate about their aforementioned
job
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 in the down run and help them to build a satisfying profession in their life.
Thus
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job
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-oriented
subjects
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 create a better platform for the
children
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 than the traditional
subjects
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 Another reason is that the vocational subject in
schools
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curtail
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curtails
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 the unemployment ratio in a country. Clearly, the
ulitimate
Correct your spelling
ultimate
 aim of a student is to get
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job
Add an article
a job
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 immediately after schooling. When
schools
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 devote their most of time to teach
students
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avout
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about
 the technical subject it
provide
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provides
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 immense
opportunites
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opportunities
 for the
students
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 to choose a better
career
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.
Consequently
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, every
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children
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child
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 would be employed and
unemployement
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unemployment
 in
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job
Correct article usage
the job
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 sector will reduce.A recent study conducted by Oxford University in London,
for example
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,
disclose
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discloses
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 that about 80%
students
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 in technical
students
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 get
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Add an article
a job
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 after schooling than the
students
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 in traditional .
Therefore
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job
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 skills at early school age give good oriented
career
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 for the
students
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 in their life
However
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,some people think that conventional curriculum
impart
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imparts
show examples
 traditional knowledge about the country and
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children
children's
childrens
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children
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 become more knowledgable about the cultural diversities in various countries.
Nevertheless
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,it
donot
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do not
don't
 provide any benefits for the development of
better
Correct article usage
a better
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 for the
children
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.So their argument is neither tenable nor robstus. To conclude, I reiterate the fact that the
schools
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 should focus on
job
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 oriented
subjects
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 which provide a good vision for the
children
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 about their future
career
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 as well as good professionals for the country.I hope in future
schools
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 would take the immediate measures to focus on vocational
subjects
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.
Submitted by tarsemsandhu6275 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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