Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #products #people #impact

Recently, sporting gatherings have become popular all over the world.

This

has made several

mega

Add a hyphen

mega-companies

show examples

companies

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

advertise their products

Change preposition

show examples

such

events

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some individuals believe

this

to be harmful

Change preposition

show examples

sports

, I partly agree with

this

, as it can be both beneficial and disadvantageous to

sports

. On one hand, people are of the opinion that

advertisment

Correct your spelling

made by large

companies

druring

Correct your spelling

during

sporting

events

reduces the thrill of

such

games. Breaks which are

surpposed

Correct your spelling

supposed

to be short are

enlogated

Correct your spelling

elongated

engaged

to promote various brands.

Consequently

, increasing the waiting time for spectators.

For example

motor

Correct your spelling

motorsports

show examples

sports

had 4 breaks of 10minutes duration each.

However

, with the

introdution

Correct your spelling

introduction

of Pepsi and Coca

colar

Correct your spelling

cola

brands into the mix, the breaks

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been increased to 20 minutes each.

This

has

fraustrated

Correct your spelling

frustrated

the spectators leading to people boycotting

such

events

and leaving earlier than they planned.

On the other hand

such

mega

Add a hyphen

mega-companies

show examples

companies

have created wealth for the stakeholders in

such

events

This

in turn helps to increase the salaries of athletes who

participates

Change the verb form

participate

show examples

in these

events

For instance

, football has been said to be the richest

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

in the world.

this

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

every club are backed by a rich enterprise who advertise their products on the

jersies

Correct your spelling

jerseys

of every

Correct your spelling

player

palyer

Change the word

more paly

show examples

in a team. The more large

companies

adverstise

Correct your spelling

advertise

sports

, the wealthier the athletes become. In conclusion,

although

people are of the opinion that

advertisment

Correct your spelling

made by large

companies

in sporting ceremonies are hurtful to the game as it reduces the thrill of watching the

events

, I am of the opinion that , it

also

can be positive to the game by creating wealth for those who

participates

Change the verb form

participate

show examples

such

events

. It should

therefore

not be removed but regulated.

Submitted by ifeluv05 on Mon Jul 19 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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