Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinión

#people #belive #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #opinión

In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

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I think that all

people

should get ahead despite the problems it does not mean that we have to sit around waiting for things to arrive as if nothing happened because many

people

think that just for saying I don’t have a job I am going to stay put. Spend all the time and not the idea is not to stay still if we stay still is everything is going to be lost everything is going to go wrong. we have to do everything possible to say

Correct pronoun usage

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can because despite the problems everything will always go forward and always have a positive side in which you can find a way out

people

who want to stay that everything really

Change the verb form

does

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not want to continue with their life want to have everything easy and not things You have to fight to get them as I said before we must take into account that nothing in

this

life is easy and if we want something really special we have to fight for all

this

because we are nothing without a career we are

people

Remove the redundancy

apply

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who do nothing

Add a hyphen

no-no

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Add the comma(s)

,no

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no there is money so try to get it but get it working Not in a bad way. In conclusion, it is not bad to do it in another way but it is much better if you can say to get things on my own merit and not say they did it to me they gave it to me I had to do No I made an effort and I managed not to do as in school What’s up? Pass me the copy, don’t do the work for yourself, meaning I learned and if I did something wrong I corrected it and did it again and from there I learned from my mistakes.

Submitted by rocio.nm890 on Mon Jul 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

acceptance
contentment
resilience
complacency
personal growth
societal progress
motivating
circumstances
growth mindset
innovation
persistent
frustration
dissatisfaction
realistic expectations

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