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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#factors #child #development #media #pop #culture #friends #point #role
It is often argued that in today’s era an adolescents
development
influenced
Add a missing verb
is influenced
show examples
 by mainly media, pop culture and
friends
.
On the other hand
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 has
core
Add an article
a core
show examples
 role in developing their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. In
this
 essay, we will discuss both views before a conclusion is reached. Nowadays, the core factors that
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
children
’s
development
 are media,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 pop culture and their besties. Because of
this
 many
children
 face
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in their physical, mental health and in academics,
such
 as most of the
children
 do not eat anything without watching TV or a song
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a mobile. Sometimes
children
 accidentally may go to the porn site which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 abnormalities.
In addition
 to
this
, it is widely believed that
children
 always copy
behaviour
Add an article
the behaviour
show examples
 of their
friends
, so if
friends
behaviour
 is bad
then
 it will
also
 impact their
development
.
On the other hand
, Family is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 crucial part of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
development
. A growing body of research suggests that
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents
Correct the article-noun agreement
adolescent
show examples
 who
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 time with their parents and adults one are good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 academics, and good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
behaviour
 with their teachers and
friends
.
For example
, in Canada, most of the
children
 found good at curriculums, and polite in
behaviour
 in primary school rather than who came from
nursery
Add an article
a nursery
the nursery
show examples
 or taken care from guardian whose parents are busy at work. In conclusion, In today’s
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
 many factors
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 a child’s
development
, but in my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 family plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in their offspring
development
. Parent’s can give proper guidance, and support to become
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 society in future.
Submitted by rohitnagare on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
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