It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that in today’s era an adolescents
development
Use synonyms
influenced
Add a missing verb
is influenced
show examples
by mainly media, pop culture and
friends
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
has
core
Add an article
a core
show examples
role in developing their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, we will discuss both views before a conclusion is reached. Nowadays, the core factors that
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
children
Use synonyms
’s
development
Use synonyms
are media,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
pop culture and their besties. Because of
this
Linking Words
many
children
Use synonyms
face
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in their physical, mental health and in academics,
such
Linking Words
as most of the
children
Use synonyms
do not eat anything without watching TV or a song
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a mobile. Sometimes
children
Use synonyms
accidentally may go to the porn site which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
abnormalities.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, it is widely believed that
children
Use synonyms
always copy
Use synonyms
behaviour
Add an article
the behaviour
show examples
of their
friends
Use synonyms
, so if
friends
Use synonyms
behaviour
Use synonyms
is bad
then
Linking Words
it will
also
Linking Words
impact their
development
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Family is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
crucial part of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
development
Use synonyms
. A growing body of research suggests that
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents
Correct the article-noun agreement
adolescent
show examples
who
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
time with their parents and adults one are good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
academics, and good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
behaviour
Use synonyms
with their teachers and
friends
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Canada, most of the
children
Use synonyms
found good at curriculums, and polite in
behaviour
Use synonyms
in primary school rather than who came from
nursery
Add an article
a nursery
the nursery
show examples
or taken care from guardian whose parents are busy at work. In conclusion, In today’s
generation
Add a comma
,generation
show examples
many factors
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
a child’s
development
Use synonyms
, but in my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
family plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in their offspring
development
Use synonyms
. Parent’s can give proper guidance, and support to become
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
society in future.
Submitted by rohitnagare on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: