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Band 4

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#education #healthcare #government
In modern society, every human being
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to have education and
healthcare
. Without proper learning and medical system, life quality will be dramatically decreased and nations cannot be developed. So if the government can free it for
everyone
, It will be
a good news
Remove the article
good news
a piece of good news
show examples
 and I strongly agree with it.
First
 of all, we all know that going to
school
 and having good medical treatment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 necessary right that
everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to have. But in real life,
school
 fees and hospital bills are still a big fence for some people to go through.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
 take an example. In my
country
, many families cannot pay for their children’s
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
, so they have to stop going to
school
. Pull the children away from proper education because schooling
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unaffordable, with parents and students, that’s really sad. But if going to
school
 and pursue knowledge are free,
everyone
 can go to
school
. If
everyone
 can go to
school
, national knowledge will be increase and that
country
 could develop much better. How about free
healthcare
? A recent survey in India shows that 38
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of people die every year because they do not have money to pay for proper medical treatment. With free hospitals, citizens can take care of their health better. Healthy nations
Correct your spelling
definitely
definetly
Add a missing verb
are definetly
show examples
 a good base for a
country
 to develop better. Some developed countries with free
healthcare
 for people like Australia, France have
booming
Add an article
a booming
the booming
show examples
 rise in the past few decades, are the biggest example to prove my opinion about free
healthcare
. In conclusion, if free education and medical facilities are provided by the government, that
country
 will take a lot of benefits. With
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 can approach their basic needs easily, to me,
that is
 a big success for the nation.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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