IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #products #people #impact
Nowadays, many people who have been fascinated in
sports
such
 as basketball, football, golf and other
athletics
, so large companies have used
this
 way to promote their product,
however
, there are some people who disagree with
this
 because it has a negative effect on
athletics
. I personally disagree with
this
 statement because finance will be a
sports
 system driven moving forward. On the one hand, finance might be positively affected
athletics
 because it would help some events to be amazed. To illustrate, the UEFE EURO 2020 has many large companies to promote their goods, which have a benefit both of them, and they will support larger filed or contain more people including to improve footballer's skill.
Moreover
, in the future, the figures for the competition will be increased, and
sports
 will be enhanced to be better.
However
,
this
 statement said that it will have negatively affected
sports
, which may be true in some parts because a huge amount of
money
 could change a good person to a bad person.
For example
, if the administrator wants to earn a lot of
money
 from a large company, the event might be organised to earn
money
, which will be a bad competition.
Furthermore
, if the
sports
 system is dominated by
money
, it will have been boring. To conclude, I personally disagree with
this
 statement because there are more benefits than drawbacks
such
 as enhancement building.
However
, the sport systems should be causing bad administrators to rogue
money
, and it will make
athletics
 be boring.
Submitted by nutt.spider on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: