Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

A school of thought claims that

computer

usage

on a regular basis can have detrimental effects rather than possessing merits. If questioned, I am in complete unison with the view. Light will be shed upon the reasons in the ensuing paragraphs. The reasons for using a

computer

every single day are manifold.

Firstly

, it increases screen time.

This

result in continuous exposure

Change preposition

show examples

harmful rays to the eyes causing eye problems and tension headaches.

For instance

, many individuals have to wear glasses after a long term elevated screen time. Apart from

this

, long time

usage

reduces the functions of the brain.

This

leads to decreased ability to focus, reduces the attention span and makes the person lazy.

Moreover

, high

computer

usage

results in various health problems. Increased risk of diseases like obesity, varicose veins are seen.

This

is because lack of movement in the body results in blood pooling towards the legs. Other postural issues like forwarding head posture may

also

be a negative effect. In a nutshell, it can be said that though there are many rewarding features of a

computer

, overuse can be detrimental to physical as well as mental health.

Therefore

, wise

usage

should be encouraged.

Submitted by PC on Tue Jul 20 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Sedentary lifestyle
Physical inactivity
Cognitive development
Internet addiction
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Digital literacy
Virtual learning environments
Parental controls
Moderation
Online safety
Tech-savvy
E-learning
Information technology
Eye strain
Social skills
Multitasking
Interactive education
Health repercussions

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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only governments can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people eat junk food these days, which is not good for health. This problem has become more among young people these days. what are the causes and solutions for this trend?

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What do you think is the reason for this, and is it a good thing or a bad thing?