IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Analysts tell us that many people feel stressed and think they have insufficient control over thier live. What problems do such feeling causes for people ? What remedies should you suggest ?

#analysts #people #control #thier #remedies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many people in the world who are stress about current politics and other issues and believe they have insufficient
control
 over their
lives
.
This
 essay will delve into the reason why individuals think they have little to no
control
 over their
lives
 and will look into solutions to mitigate the situation.
One
 possible reason as to why many feel they have insufficient
control
 over their
lives
 is because when they often
plan
 something, their
plan
 is often derailed as things never go as they expect.
This
 is a very common thing as many have to improvise based on their situation. A study conducted by Harvard University in 2020 has claimed that 79% of individuals who feel they have no
control
 over their own
lives
 insisted on doing things their way and when it was not done in that particular manner, they thought they had lost
control
 over it.
Therefore
, those people who had their
plans
 not turn out the way they needed them to, felt as if they lost
control
 over it and in short, ended up stressing about having little
control
 over their
lives
. A plausible solution for
this
 problem is to make realistic goals and not elaborate on them but
instead
, have a rough idea of the
plan
.
For example
, when
one
 makes a rough
plan
, it allows the
plan
 to be flexible,
as a result
, he or she might feel they have
control
 over their
lives
.
In addition
, those who still think they have little to no
control
 over their
lives
 must visit a psychiatrist as it is of paramount importance to take care of mental health. In summary, not only is it important to make realistic
plans
 and not elaborate too much on them to allow for flexibility of changes in
plans
 but
also
, to visit a psychiatrist if the problem persists. In conclusion, a plausible reason as to why people feel as though they are not in
control
 is because things don't go as they have planned and to remedy
such
 a problem
one
 must make flexible
plans
 and realistic goals that
one
 wants to achieve.
Submitted by srikanth923 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: