In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades, the amount of men and women with
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
conditions associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
fast foods has increased dramatically in many nations. It is argued that states should charge fast
food
companies more
tax
because of their
reposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
of
this
situation.
This
essay totally agrees with that statement because these illnesses cost the
health
service too much money and increasing the price of junk
food
would reduce the demand for it.
Obesity related
Add a hyphen
Obesity-related
show examples
illnesses cost the taxpayer billions of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
every year.
People
who eat too much fast
food
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
likely to suffer from costly diseases associated with being overweight.
As a result
, they have to go to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
more regularly for treatment and
this
puts a strain on the
health
service. (explanation)
For example
, a large proportion of the United Kingdon’s National
Health
Service budget is spent on preventable, obesity-related diseases,
such
as heart disease and diabetes Another reason why fast
food
restaurants should pay extra
tax
is to raise the cost in order to decrease demand. Any extra
tax
would be added to the normal price of the
food
, and as prices go up, fewer
people
will be able to afford to buy fatty
food
.
Therefore
,
this
would reduce the amount of junk
food
people
eat and the result would be a
Correct your spelling
healthier
show examples
heathier
Correct your spelling
healthier
show examples
nation. The UK government,
for instance
, introduced a ‘sugar
tax
’ on sugary soft drinks in an attempt to fight the obesity epidemic. In conclusion, many
people
consuming fast
food
develop
health
issues and it is essential to put higher
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
because of the high pressure on
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
health
budget and decreasing the
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
demand
Submitted by hbui19982016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Chronic diseases
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Sin tax
  • Subsidize
  • Affordability
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Paternalism
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Industry lobbying
  • Public health initiatives
  • Consumer behavior
  • Regulatory measures
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Fiscal policy
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Behavioral economics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: