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Band 4

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it’s unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions #it’s
Triumphant
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
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sports men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
 and women take
home
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a home
show examples
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
 compared to other occupations.Some individuals argue that
this
 is
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 whereas others say that they are not justified to earn a
lot
 of
money
.
To begin
 with, the main advantage of being a sportsman is the amount of
money
that is
 entitled to an individual following a given performance and
also
 the fame that accompanies
such
 performance.
In addition
, collections that come from: sports tourism, sponsorships and advertisements provide
a lucrative avenues
Correct the article-noun agreement
lucrative avenues
a lucrative avenue
show examples
 for earning more.
Moreover
, most
sportsmen
 are physically fit and healthy
thus
 they are able to increase their stock of health reducing the number of visits to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
 due to illness
this
 later translate to improved working days on their career and
thus
 more
money
 in their pockets.
For instance
,
tennis
Add an article
the tennis
show examples
ball
Correct your spelling
ballplayer
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 who earn through sponsorships and stays healthy.
Therefore
,
sportsmen
 are able to take home a
lot
 of
money
 comparatively.
On the contrary
, Other
school
Change the wording
schools
show examples
 of thought argue that
sportsmen
 should not earn a
lot
 because the amount of time spent in class for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 academic is minimal
that is
 they are half baked.
Moreover
,when they are injured they stand a chance of
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
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 their profession.
For instance
,a football player who
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 most of his or her time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the football pitch and later accidentally gets an injury.
Thus
,in the view of the given reasons
sportsmen
 should not take a
lot
 for the owners to realize. In conclusion,Not only that sports depends on talents but
also
 it's an important career that can promote individual well being as well as
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of the country;It should be accorded the relevant support by the government.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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