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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than working together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many countries, comparing with cooperation, most
students
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 are educated that they need to compete with others in different fields. I think that
this
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 phenomenon brings more benefits than problems.
Firstly
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, competition stimulates
students
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 to
study
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 diligently. It is common to see that most
students
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’ motivation comes from competition with their peers.
For instance
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,
students
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 who achieve poor academic performance will feel shame because teachers love
students
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 who can get high scores. After
this
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, they are likely to
study
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 diligently to restore self-esteem.
Moreover
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, if they are taught to be competitive in the
study
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, they are likely to regard the
study
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 as a game, which will encourage them to learn as much as they can, arousing the desire to win. In the long run,
this
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 teaching pattern could constantly drive student’s motivation in studying.
Secondly
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,
this
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 teaching way will be beneficial for
students
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 who will enter society in search of a job. It is undeniable that finding a job is becoming more and more difficult for graduates, which indirectly impose extra requirements on them,
such
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 as excellent interpersonal skills and in-depth specialization, challenging people’s well-rounded capability.
For example
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, If some
students
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 are used to compete with others, they know how to show their strong points and how to avoid their weaknesses for the employer, improving their competitiveness in job hunting. In conclusion, educating
students
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 on how to beyond others and themselves will bring more benefits,
such
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 as motivation and future career. While the drawback does exist, it can be minimized.

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • personal growth
  • competitive edge
  • work ethic
  • strive for
  • peer pressure
  • stress/anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • professional environments
  • dishonest tactics
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational collaboration
  • sense of community
  • shared goals
  • balance
  • mitigate
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