You should spend about 40 minutes on this question. Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that children should play
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as it is
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary

The word neccesary is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

in school life while some people say it is not compulsory. There are valid arguments on both sides, which we will discuss now. On the one hand, people who think sport should be
optional
Correct article usage
an optional

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
subject find that physical activities only act as a waste of the valuable time which scholars’ have for studying. They argue that since
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are already occupied with their studies
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound object. Consider removing it.

show examples
and the fact that time could be more well spent on academically.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point out that playing
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be dangerous for
Add an article
the kid

The noun phrase kid seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids

It seems that kid may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
,example

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
when children play basketball or football together, it is inevitable that a collision will result in injury.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is an undeniable fact that play outside keep young learners fit and stay healthy. Constant running and jumping not only improves their muscle strength but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their observation and dexterity.
Students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who play teams are taught to work effectively in a team environment while others who choose to play solo
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have the opportunity to develop independence. But whether playing individually or as a team, they all have qualities
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as agility, stamina, quick thinking, concentration.
Linking Words
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These

It appears that the singular demonstrative This is modifying the plural noun qualities. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
qualities have a spillover in academics as well
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. They are found to
better
Add a missing verb
be better

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
and resilient
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people believe
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is essential
point
Add the particle
to point

It appears that the verb point should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
out playing games enhance mental health when it can reduce stress and depression.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples
matches can be profitable when selling tickets. In general, it is sensible to conclude that children should
spent
Change the verb form
spend

The verb spent after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
more time engaging in physical activities since it has numerous benefits
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as improving physically and mentally, bringing profits. If
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are removed from the curriculum,
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lead a sedentary lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Essential part
  • School life
  • Physical health
  • Childhood obesity
  • Teamwork and cooperation
  • Professional careers
  • Academics
  • Mental health
  • Emotional well-being
  • Undue pressure
  • Athletically inclined
  • Academic focus
  • Limited resources
  • Inequitable access
  • Disparities
  • Health conditions
  • Disabilities
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Personal goals
  • Arts or music
What to do next:
Look at other essays: