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Band 5.5

It is important that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #range #abilities #variety #backgrounds #mix #school
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It is important for all the
people
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 in
this
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 world to accept
people
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 of other countries and cultures. And I think that
this
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 acceptance should be taught to
children
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 from a young age.Some
people
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 are of the opinion that
children
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 with various abilities and social backgrounds should study together at the same school. In my opinion,
this
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 is a very good idea and it can be very beneficial for the
children
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.The following paragraphs will discuss both views in detail and will
also
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 justify my opinion.
Children
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 must learn that the world is like a family and everyone is an important part of it. By allowing
children
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 belonging to different social backgrounds to mix with each other will help to develop an open mindset in them . They will learn to be more tolerant and accepting
to
Change preposition
of
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people
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 who have a different belief system and traditional
value
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values
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 than them and
this
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 can really
useful
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be useful
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 for their future life.
For instance
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, my brother completed his education in an international which had
Use synonyms
Add an article
a student
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student
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students
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 from all over the world. And because of
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this
Add a comma
,this
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 he has grown
to
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into
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 a very patient and understanding adult. Everyone has a different level of intelligence and skill set and
this
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 is true in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
children
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also
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. I strongly believe that
children
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 should never be compared to each
because
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other because
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 of it.Studying in a school with
people
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 having different talents helps
children
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 understand that no one is good at everything but there is always something that a person is better at as compared to others.
This
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 teaches
children
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 to respect other's abilities even if they are different
than
Change the preposition
from
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 themselves and
also
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 if it is an ability not common in
the
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apply
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society. He/she should not be treated differently because of
this
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.
For instance
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 , there could a
student
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 who is a very good painter but he/she could be extremely bad at studies and does not get good grades.
Such
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 a
student
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 should never be looked down upon because even though he/she can't study well, the
student
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 can go on to become a great artist. To conclude , sending
children
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 to schools with
people
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 from a range of different social backgrounds and various talents can teach them a lot of important life lessons.It will help
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
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 become an
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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 adult who respects
people
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 with different skills.
Submitted by yashashrikolalle on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promotes Inclusivity
  • Fosters Equality
  • Appreciate Diversity
  • Equitable Society
  • Broad Perspective
  • Problem-solving Skills
  • Real-World Diversity
  • Navigate
  • Global Society
  • Strive for Improvement
  • Unique Talents
  • Healthy Competitive Spirit
  • Reduce Social Inequality
  • Access to Resources
  • Empathy
  • Social Skills
  • Communication
  • Teamwork
  • Conflict Resolution
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