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Band 5.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#future #nobody #newspapers #books
It is undeniable that nowadays, Internet
play
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plays
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 an important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human activities
such
 as reading, learning and communicating. Many
people
 think that in the future,
people
 will not buy printing
media
such
 as newspapers or
books
 because they can read everything from online
media
 without paying. From my point of view, I disagree whit
this
 idea for many reasons, outlined in the following paragraph. On the one hand, some
people
 think that online
media
 has the influence factors on deciding to buy printing
media
 because it is convenient for everyone in modern society.
For example
, many students are using some technology
such
 as
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
 and computers for lecturing, reading and writing on their education without paying. Another reason is that using online
media
 can help reduce waste caused by paper. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other word,
people
 in modern society are adapting some
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 to be friendly
for
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to
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environment
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the environment
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.
On the other hand
, I think that reading
book
 on online
media
,
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
 information on
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
 without expert examination which is different from the newspapers or
books
 that always has to examined before publication.
Additionally
, many
people
 claim that they cannot find some
book
 in online
media
, for it has copyright from
owner
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the owner
show examples
 so they are deciding to buy these
books
. Another reason is that
people
 who spend more time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading online can cause unhealthy problems for their eyes.
For example
, many
children
 in Thailand often are reading a
book
 on Ipad or laptop, as the result, they often have eyes problems than
children
 who read from real
books
.
Furthermore
, many parents often are using real
books
 for teaching or entertaining
with
Change preposition
apply
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their
children
 rather than online
books
 when their
children
 begin to understand some
letter
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letters
show examples
. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
 viewpoint because reading
books
 from real
books
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is reliable rather than information on online
media
, and it does not their
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
.
Although
 I disagree with
this
 point, reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 on online
media
 can cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive environment and positive effect on human activities in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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