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The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

#arts #art #music #theatre #society #place #lifestyles #school #curriculum
The arts have an indispensable impact on communities and including them
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
school's
Correct article usage
a school's
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 curriculum can benefit both society and students.
Art
 is an integral part of human beings, and no technological development can replicate its vital role in individual's lives. Modern culture frustrates people and necessitates them to find an immediate way to recharge their batteries in order to work at their optimal level.
Therefore
, going to a theatre or attending a painting gallery aside from being a feast for the eyes, provides a chance for individuals to disconnect from everyday grind and offer a sanctuary for their exasperated minds.
Consequently
, not only does
art
 continue to thrive but it
also
 has become more dominant in our lives
as a result
 of modern culture.
Moreover
,
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
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, paintings, and other artistic craftsmanship are considered to act as catalysts for informing and highlighting social issues. these artistic manners depict problems and highlight their consequences; thereby artists can use them as tools to address social hurdles effectively. Injecting
art
 into the school's curriculum can offer a more valuable workforce and enhance children's academic performance. Artistic tasks
such
 as sculpturing or painting free children to venture into uncharted territories and allow them to depict their thoughts on paper or on stone.
For instance
, giving an abstract topic and asking students to draw based on it can flame the spark of innovation and creativity. These two practices can help individuals to become better problem-solvers as they face challenges later in life
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they have learned how to activate their brain muscles and think out of the box to solve a problem.
Moreover
, studies have shown that children who engage in activities
such
 as playing a role in theatre or playing an instrument perform better on their exams and have shown cognitive abilities
such
 as a sharp memory or extended focus time compared to their peers. In conclusion,
art
 has safeguarded a place in people's lives and adding
art
 subjects to
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum can benefit individuals and their
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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task achievement
Try to use specific examples or studies to strengthen the argument. For instance, citing particular studies or famous artworks that have influenced society would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
While connecting ideas smoothly, ensure each paragraph transitions naturally to the next. Pay attention to how paragraphs build upon each other or lead into different arguments.
task achievement
The essay offers a well-rounded discussion on the importance of arts in modern society and education.
coherence cohesion
The argument is well-structured, with a solid introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
Use of clear language and specific terms related to the arts, which helps in constructing a compelling argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetics
  • Cultural heritage
  • Empathy
  • Creativity
  • Expression
  • Innovation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Empathy
  • Fine motor skills
  • Well-rounded education
  • Accessibility
  • Preservation
  • Screen-centered
  • Storytelling
  • Balance
  • Artistic mediums
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