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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is undeniable that
music
 plays an important role
on
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in
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 human living. A number of
people
 say that
music
 is the best way of making
people
 who stay
on
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in
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 different countries and
cultures
 is staying together, and making
people
 who have
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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 generation is staying together. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 idea for many reasons, outlined in the following paragraph. On the one hand, some
people
 think that
music
 cannot bring
people
 who different
cultures
 and
ages
 together because
people
 who stay
on
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in
show examples
different
Add an article
the different
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 have often unlike
cultures
 and ideas, as the result, they are frequently listening
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
music
. Another reason,
people
 who have gap generation are often listening dissimilar
such
 as pop
music
 and hip-hop
music
 are listening by
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 rather than older
people
 who are frequently listening country
music
 and western
music
.
On the other hand
, a lot of
people
, including me, believe that
music
 is one of
factors
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the factors
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 which can make
people
 together because
people
 from different sides around the world are going to somewhere for listening
music
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to music
show examples
 and building emotions.
For example
, nowadays, many parents are frequently going to Korea Concert with their children because they want to learn about their children
living
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lives
show examples
, and they can make new friends from
this
 concert. Another good example, Coachella Concert in the USA are visited by visitors who are coming dissimilar
cultures
 and
ages
 around the world, for they want to listen to
music
 with many
people
 who interest
with
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in
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 the same
music
.
Additionally
,
music
 can attract many
people
 who different
cultures
 and
ages
, but they are interesting
the
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in the
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 same style of
music
 to stay together. In conclusion, I strongly agree with
this
 point because
music
 is what attracts the same listening
music
 style
people
 but different counties,
cultures
,
ages
 and
personality
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personalities
show examples
 to live together.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I agree with
this
 point, many teenagers are listening
music
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to music
show examples
 different
with
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from
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 adults, for the evolution of
music
 is divergence.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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