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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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It is undeniable that
music
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 plays an important role
on
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in
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 human living. A number of
people
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 say that
music
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 is the best way of making
people
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 who stay
on
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in
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 different countries and
cultures
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 is staying together, and making
people
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 who have
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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 generation is staying together. From my point of view, I agree with
this
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 idea for many reasons, outlined in the following paragraph. On the one hand, some
people
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 think that
music
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 cannot bring
people
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 who different
cultures
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 and
ages
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 together because
people
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 who stay
on
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in
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different
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the different
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country
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countries
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 have often unlike
cultures
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 and ideas, as the result, they are frequently listening
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
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music
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. Another reason,
people
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 who have gap generation are often listening dissimilar
such
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 as pop
music
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 and hip-hop
music
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 are listening by
teenager
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teenagers
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 rather than older
people
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 who are frequently listening country
music
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 and western
music
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.
On the other hand
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, a lot of
people
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, including me, believe that
music
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 is one of
factors
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the factors
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 which can make
people
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 together because
people
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 from different sides around the world are going to somewhere for listening
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music
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to music
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 and building emotions.
For example
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, nowadays, many parents are frequently going to Korea Concert with their children because they want to learn about their children
living
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lives
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, and they can make new friends from
this
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 concert. Another good example, Coachella Concert in the USA are visited by visitors who are coming dissimilar
cultures
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 and
ages
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 around the world, for they want to listen to
music
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 with many
people
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 who interest
with
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in
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 the same
music
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.
Additionally
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,
music
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 can attract many
people
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 who different
cultures
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 and
ages
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, but they are interesting
the
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in the
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 same style of
music
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 to stay together. In conclusion, I strongly agree with
this
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 point because
music
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 is what attracts the same listening
music
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 style
people
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 but different counties,
cultures
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,
ages
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 and
personality
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personalities
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 to live together.
Although
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,
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apply
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 I agree with
this
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 point, many teenagers are listening
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music
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to music
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 different
with
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from
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 adults, for the evolution of
music
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 is divergence.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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