IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that a zoo has no useful purpose. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

#people #zoo #purpose
It is argued that captivating fauna in cages for the public to see them is not justified. I completely disagree with
this
 as a
zoo
 can save endangered species from extinction,
in addition
 to that, it supports states economically and it is a helpful educational tool. A valid reason to have a
zoo
 is to preserve rare species that are the on verge of extinction. The Arabian Leopard,
for example
, is a leopard subspecies
that is
 critically endangered as there are only less than 200 ones all over the world.
Hence
, keeping some of them captivated is a must in order to save them. Another point to consider is that zoos provide an economic boost to their community.
In other words
, it is a place that families usually visit to spend a day there and they have to pay tickets fees at the entrance.
As a result
,
such
 charges contribute to the country’s economy;
for instance
, Cairo’s
zoo
, has more than 2000 thousand visitors per day, and the admission fee is 20 EGP per person, these revenues support the state’s economy.
Finally
, children and youngsters can educationally benefit from keeping animals behind bars by having the opportunity to see the ones that do not exist in a given country's natural habitat. To illustrate, Modern School in Egypt regularly arranges a school trip for its students to visit Giza’s
zoo
;
therefore
, the teachers can have a better chance to educate youngsters about wildlife’s organisms
such
 as giraffes or elephants. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that keeping animals in unnatural environments has many benefits by preserving them from extinction,
additionally
, it supports countries financially and represents a useful source of education for children.
Submitted by khaledreda1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: