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Some people think the government is responsible for rise in childhood obesity, while other think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents
Obesity
 has become one of the unsolvable problems of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century. Many
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that lack of
government
 initiatives is the only key reason for early age
obesity
. Whereas other people say that
parents
 are accountable for
this
 issue. In my opinion,
parents
 are responsible for whatever health issues happen to their kids. On the one hand,
parents
 are always there for taking care of their
children
's health and future. But sometimes, many of them overdo it by simply thinking
it
Change preposition
about it
show examples
 in financial terms. When both
parents
 are working, the child is usually being left alone at home with snacks and television. Due to
this
,
children
 are vulnerable to develop unhealthy eating habits.
Furthermore
, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases,
children
 are provided with gadgets and computer games to play with.
As a result
 of sitting and playing for long hours will stimulate the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in body weight. In my personal experience, without
gadgets
Add a comma
,gadgets
show examples
 we played long hours on play-ground which was not only helped to have better health but
also
, we had a great experience of socializing.
On the other hand
, for various reasons,
government
 authorities ought to make some policies to alleviate
this
 younger generation
obesity
 problem.
To begin
 with, due to early age
obesity
, they are prone to various life-threatening issues in their mid-life
such
 as cardiac issues, diabetes, and cancer diseases. As a consequence, their average
life-span
Correct your spelling
lifespan
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 will significantly reduce which will obviously make
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
 reflection in
nation’s
Correct article usage
the nation’s
show examples
 economic growth. Having said that,
parents
 are afraid to send their kids outside because of increasing crime rates.
This
 is
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another reason for
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 accountability
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 younger generations healthy future.
Hence
, authorities should provide enough confidence to
parents
 that their
children
's safety is well-ensured by installing cameras and more gourds.
In addition
, imposing
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 tax on high sugar candies will prevent unhealthy food consumption. In conclusion, though there is a need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 initiatives from
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 side,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
still
children
's well-being starts at home. In my view, it is
parents
 primary responsibility to take all the necessary steps to avoid childhood weight gain
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
 as teaching them healthy eating habits.
Submitted by eswarithangaraj89 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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