IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is and what problem can this cause.

#countries #people #areas
In several nations, individuals are moving from rural
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
 towards
cities
 because there are
amny
Correct your spelling
many
any
 facilities and
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are more job
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 in big
cities
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would shed light
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 associated problems and cause in upcoming paragraphs. There are many problems why masses moving towards big
cities
.one of the
mpst
Correct your spelling
most
 prominent
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in the countryside.
people
 struggle to find a great job and decide to move to the
bif
Correct your spelling
big
 city.
Moreover
, masses have to consider that it is not easy to live in rural areas with the lack of facilities
such
 as a good internet connection,public transport and so on,that are very important in modern days,
People
 just want to make use of these facilities in the order to improve their lifestyle.
Besides
 the reasonable motivations that can lead
people
 to move,
this
 phenomenon could cause huge
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 to the administration of the
cities
.Indeed it could lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overpopulation causing the
drecrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in the offers for jobs due to the rising demand for it,resulting in
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
In addition
 to there can be difficulties in satisfying primary
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
such
 as food and water. It is
also
 worth
niting
Correct your spelling
noting
 that if the
cities
 get overcrowded,the rural
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
area
 will be almost inhabited.
This
 would be a great problem because if te
drecrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in agriculture production,which can be lead to a lack
food
Change preposition
of food
show examples
 in urban areas to cultivate there and would easily be a drought of vegetables. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 have to find a way to stop
people
 from moving away, in order to
maintan
Correct your spelling
maintain
 of high standard living of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Submitted by bediinderpreet8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: