Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others thinks it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides this argument and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment #argument

It is believed by some that

music

plays a significant

role

society

whereas others think that it gives entertainment. In

this

essay, I will discuss both the prospective but I agree with the former view.

On the other hand

, there are some reasons why

people

think that

music

plays an important

role

society

Firstly

people

who are having the natural talent to play any instruments like guitar, piano and so on. They become famous worldwide and make name and fame.

For example

, nowadays, in India, many

people

participate in reality shows and win competitions as well as get an opportunity to play

role

in movies or TV serials.

Secondly

, it is open the door

Change preposition

show examples

national and international level competitions. They get a chance to visit foreign countries and see foreign cultures and traditions, learn new languages.

Last

but not least,

people

make careers in

this

field.

On the other hand

,there are many reasons those who believe that it is simply a form of entertainment. The

first

reason is that while listening to

music

, they feel calm and relax. Nowadays,

people

follow hectic schedules. So, they need to rejuvenate themselves. The

second

reason is that it generates positive vibes. To quote an example, if

people

listen to songs related to goddesses, it will create positiveness in their life. Another cause is that students to

tolisten

Correct your spelling

listen

to listen

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

after studying, they can concentrate on their study with ease. I am strongly in favour of

music

play a vital

role

society

as it gives the opportunity to make a career and earn a handsome amount of wages.

Therefore

, they support their family and become independent. In conclusion, I believe that the importance of

music

cannot be ignored because it plays a paramount

role

society

as well as the country.

Submitted by tithipatel1731 on Mon Jul 26 2021

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others thinks it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides this argument and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? older buildings How can people research this? specific ways to find information on older buildings

GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING DAY BY DAY. WHAT EFFECTS DOES THIS PHENOMENON CAUSES ? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTION

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.