IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible Solutions

#people #situation
It is often claimed that
people
 in modern society are not as healthy and out-going as
people
 in the past.
This
 issue is the consequence of various reasons and makes humanity's development passive.
Therefore
, an essential solution for
this
 problem is of importance. It is an undeniable fact that the state of the art society facilitate our living, while
people
 in the past had to cope with severe difficulties to survive. nowadays, all the fundamental demands are within our reach. It makes human beings not concentrate on doing physical activities and possessing a balanced diet.
Moreover
, using modern devices to excess
instead
 of relating to other
people
 and taking part in outside activities keeps our minds passive. It affects negatively on our production. A salient solution to handle
this
 problem is to foster community's activity to create mutual understanding and improve
people
's appearance.
For instance
, we should hold more sports events incorporating various kinds of rage sports
such
 as soccer, badminton, swimming, biking, jogging with the big prize pool. It is a precious opportunity for us to communicate and have more social relationships.
Additionally
, the government should pass more suitable laws to prevent
people
 from accessing addictive items
such
 as smartphones and laptops.
Although
 technological innovation puts the entire world at our fingertips, there must have the limitation to protect our positive life. To conclude, I completely agree that
people
 nowadays are less fit and active than
people
 in the olden days.
However
, with instant solutions, we can together handle
this
 issue to reach to worth-living society.
Submitted by lamnguyenphuc03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: